Make Mine Concrete

And now a few words about love....

I was sitting in church on Sunday, listening to a lesson on unity when a teacher posed a question, which I didn't quite catch because my stomach growled at the exact moment she asked it. Now either it was one of those questions to which the answer is so obvious that the class wonders why the teacher is asking it, or it really was a hard question and no one knew the answer; It may be that everyone, like me, was running late, (big surprise), and didn't have time for a balanced nutritious breakfast before church and consequently had the hallelujah chorus sounding from the upper portion of the digestive tract. Whatever the case, no one responded to the question placed before us and the teacher decided to answer for us. In a tone that let me know that she was beginning to get a little bit frustrated she said, "Love. If we want to be more unified, we just need to love people. Feel the love. That is what we need to do. Feel the love."

Oh! Feel the love! I knew that. Wait a second...what does that really mean? Feel the love. Hmmm...This is a problem for me. Is it? I love Benji. I love my children. I have many people in my life whom I care about and cherish their friendship. But just to say, "Feel the Love". I just don't know.

I dislike when love is discussed like it is a miasma hanging over our heads. When it is described and depicted like something abstract that we can't pin down, can't control; this I do not like and is something with which I do not agree.

I believe that true love is concrete. It is action, it is emotion, it is a motivation. It is real. I think that the phrase, "We just need to love people", is about as helpful as, "I really need to make more money" or "I need to lose weight". While these phrases may be true, unless they are met with some action they are just words not usually destined to meet with much success. But because I think the instructor, essentially, is right, (even if I don't care too much for her phrasing), I have decided that in this new year swiftly approaching I am going to concentrate on feeling the love. Here's the plan :

1. Write and send all the thank you cards that have been on my mind every night when I go to bed for the last six months. Although I have had good intentions, these intentions are currently doing nothing but causing guilt. (And I think guilt is the biggest waste of time ever, even bigger than facebook.)
2. Be on time. This one is going to take some faith and prayer. (Your prayers of support are acceptable starting now.) And simplification. I am going to quit trying to cram too many things into too little time so that I can be on time for the things that matter and the people who deserve my full attention.
3. I will only mess around on the internet while my children are sleeping. Too often I get online to pay a bill or check my bank statement and the next thing you know I am watching a random video sent to me by some random person or I get caught in a heated game of scrabble. (See the aforementioned note on the seduction of facebook.) These activities are fun and have their place, but not when I could be spending more productive time hanging snowflakes with Mags, teaching Sage how to braid, or demonstrating the G chord for Gabe, (again).
4. Remember. Everyone has preferences and dislikes. When someone close to me recognizes and remembers these things it makes me feel special. I don't think I'm alone in this. Life sometimes gets so hectic that I neglect the small actions that would show those closest to me how much I care for them. I'm going to remember better this year.
   
5. Take more baths and read more books. Run more miles. Spend more time with friends and family. These are my favorite things. It is important to do things for others, but every once in a while, it is fantastic to do something just for yourself! (A tenuous balancing act, to be sure!)

The President Spencer W. Kimball, who was the prophet when I was young, was always urging us to be a kinder, gentler people. I like this wording better. It is one thing to 'feel the love'. It is completely another to make sure that others around you can feel it also. Perhaps being kinder and more gentle is the greatest way to begin. 2009 is coming. I'd better get ready, I can't be late!